Absence makes the Heart grow fondue!

Well I'm back to take a look through the half empty glass - darkly!

Walkng back from Acton last week through a local park I saw a kid dressed in a silver shiny suit. I asked his mother if he was the Tin Man from Wizard of Ox or a spaceman1 She looked bemused and replied that he was a Cyberman! Well of course, I said, it's the 21st century. I asked if she knew that Judy Garland was dead...by the look on her face I realised she didn't even know who she was...oh well! another nail in my coffin, I thought. So I did just that and lit up another nail in my coffin!

Yes, I'm a Marlboro man till the day they nail that lid on! I did give up once...yes I remember, that was last Tuesday and what a hellish day that was - withdrawal symptoms, mood swings, biting my nails and scraping my fingers through my hair! I'll never go through that again! How does Amy Winehouse et al keep doing it?

Bye the bye, I saw her on TV at Glastonbury and I thought she was fabulous..a mixture of Billy Holiday and Bette Middler!!

Acton W3

Let me tell you a bit about Acton which is where I am doing a course on job training. The first time I went there I did not know what to expect - duelling banjoes, perhaps? hoodies? gangs of yout's running about?

Well it all came as a pleasant surprise. It is a very multicultural area, and to tell the truth there does not seem to be too much English spoken in the street although all the shops and traders do understand it. It's very colourful and one good thing the prices are half what they are in leafy green Chiswick! The variety of food on offer is extremely wide and all looks good enough to eat! The big chains are all represented but the variety of other food is remarkable!

There is a market outside the church every Friday with all sort of good things to but, not that I would; there is even an Australian pie-man there but at £2.50 a pie, I think they must come over first class on Quaintass!

Rambling yet again!

I noticed that there is a vacancy for a labour leader in Scotland and I was wondering if GB (ScotsDiv) of UK Ltd might like to apply for the job now; he'll be needing a new one soon the way he's stroking this country up!

Well done Espana! You deserved it although I was cheering for Russia.....yes I know it was really anyone but Deutschland uber Alles! It was team work really what done it and all the big flair players seem to be on hold. I wonder about their sale values now?

Geography spot - can you find these on the globe?

Malage, Bathurst, Great Slave Lake,Guam.

Can you differentiate between fjords, fjards, rias,and

Dalmatian coastal structures?

Word enhancement!

Feed-back, noetic, quango.

Disaster warning areas.

Midsomer anything - murders every day?

Miss Marples - as above?

International aid donations to Africa - why not send them straight to the appropriate Swiss bank account of the current despot in power.

Afghanistan - fro British soldiers

Zimbabwe - for democratic expression of opinion.

All the running I do just to stay in one place!

Sorry, I missed you yesterday, but to be honest I was off-colour.However, that did not stop me from having some thought-provoking thoughts. Some questions, no answers. I'll give you some facts, figures ,conjectures and even some warnings, but after all that it is up to you. I feel the dark encroaching even as I type!

Disaster areas to be avoided like the plague!

Burma..Cyclones.

China.. earthquakes and after shocks (do not go near hydro-electric dams, either)

Philippines.. typhoons and never use the ferries

UK.. flood damage or rather the lack of flood damage controls

Everest.. full of litter, oxygen canisters and even frozen dead bodies

Antarctica.. as for Everest, but I don't think there are any frozen corpses there or none that they talk about

Mortgages.. even the BIG BANKS are hurting but not as much as you!

(Wasn't there a church founded on a ROCK? but that was SOUTH of here somewhere)

Wimbledon.. for any British tennis player

Michele's hair in the morning before the magic box is opened..although with the new hair style this is not such a problem, and anyway I must stay on her good side as she will be doing the flowers for my commemoration services, and I do not want her to go too over the top, know what I mean? (This means no more Elaine Paige comments, please....touchy feely!)

Geography spot

Could you place these places on a globe with a certain accuracy. I think I can....possibly, maybe with 100% accuracy!

Baikal, Novy Zemlya, Kerala, Potchefstroom, Agadir, Aswan, Missoula, Mareeba, Edo (historical), Peking (it's disappeared like Burma!?)Nova Sofala.

I have often wondered why people climb Mt Everest or Kilimanjaro, or swim with sharks or sting rays or even Mao Tse Tung (did he really or was it spin). Don't say - because it's there. So is the landfill site to the east of London but would you like to climb it, it is massive!

Also, can you explain to me what these are:- a heat island; terra rossa; cumulus.

Word spot

Munificent; BOGOF, demulsify, cd-rw.

Comedy, like Biometric I.D. Cards, is an Unnatural Act.

Some thoughts that have passed my way as I stroll along the byways of leafy West London through Southfields Recreation Ground on my way to not so leafy Acton, but the prices of most things are half what they are in W4!

UNISON, the council workers union, have voted to strike. There are 600,000 members, the turnout was 45% and they voted 25% to strike...how's my maths?

The Energy companies say price rises are inevitable...already up 15% in 2008 and may rise to 40%. What are their profits like?

UK Ltd spends £250 million to fight the drugs trade in Afghanistan and the Taliban makes £50 million profit...why can't UK Ltd run the railways at a profit?

Why is Mandela having his 90th birthday party here?...is a prophet not welcome in his own land...look at me!

The mayonaise ad with the kiss is a no-no, but what about all the soaps chasing the pink pound in the time slots aimed at kids?

What about Mugabe..(Eh! Bah! Gum! lad)..well what can you say! Be like GB (Scots Div) of UK Ltd and say Nowt!

When will this drought finish...I know it's only been about 3 days and a proper drought is 3 years, but, have you been on the underground or even on a bus in this weather. No neither have I, as due to unforseen circumstance, I have to use Shank's pony...and even then one of my legs has been injured in a football injury scare...yes, I kicked out at a chair when I saw yet another perfect swan dive from Ronaldo...can Real really afford £80 million or might they prefer the teenage wonder who will represent UK at the Olympics..his name has escaped me for the moment!

I find it inconvenient to be poor; but what is the option while suffering unemployment!

The people who seem to do the most harm in the world are those going about doing good!!

The universe is simply indifferent.

Geography spot: Point Loma, Da Nang, Green Island.

Word spot: paradisiacal, exasperated, catastrophic.

Flora and Fauna: frittalary, peonies, roe deer, vixen.

Blue Monday....why doesn't it rain!

I'm feeling a bit blue today..probably a result of my little tiff with the Job Centre last week.
Oh well what can you do? Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all!

I noticed that the Police in Hampshire hace taken delivery of an armoured\landrover to use in sieges??? In Hampshire......am I missing something here? Why not loan it to the Army in Afghanistan to protect the soldiers there!

Here's some geography for you. Where are the following: Coronado Bridge; Swe Dagon temple: Kuranda.

Word spot for today: uticaria; proximate; heedeth not.

Well I'm off now. When you have nothing to say, say nothing!

It's a lot of work being me!

Well Dear Readers, today is my last birthday! I do not want anymore, I refuse to acknowledge them...I will always be a fifty-something! Life is but a walking shadow and a poor player.

I've tried to work myself to death; I've tried to laze myself to death; I've tried to drink myself to death; I've tried to smoke myself to death - but, dammit, I have survived! So let's see what's up that damned highway!
But enough about me.

Sports talk

Euro2008 still continues to amaze me. Where is Ronaldo? perhaps he was on the bench with Mario Gomez from Germany! Well let's see what happens tonight with Turkey and Croatia. Maybe Germany gets to play Croatia again in semis.

Life style

Even though the oil and gas companies as well as all the service supply companies associated with energy report astronomical profits in the billions, we are all facing potential price increases of plus or minus 40%. And what is GB(Scots Div) of UK Ltd doing about it for us....nothing! he is busy counting all the VAT and excise duties he is collecting as the prices scream out of control.

Well he seemed a pretty effective back room boy as Chancellor, but out of the shadow and in front of us he seems woeful and incompetent. Why doesn't he join his mate Mandy and La Brasilia in Brussels and run Europe....oh that's right he was Tony's crony.

okay away now and leave me to drown my sorrows in a glass of water,(unfortunately my benefit has not been paid through an administration error somewhere between Acton and Glasgow)

Words for today: advection; imbroglio; pottage

The whole world seems to be in a state of Chassis

Big Brown
Gb (Scots Div) of UK Ltd asserts that we need to be in the heart of Europe as over 3 million people depend on it for jobs. I didn't know we had that many MEPs and hanger-ons over there riding the Gravy Train. I would live to see their expense claims.

He assured us that he will never shirk his responsibilities to keep our neighbourhoods safe - even if that required new anti-terrorism powers. I thought that all we really wanted was a couple of cops on the corner or walking up and down the streets instead of slowly strangling on red tape back at the stations or driving pomposouly around in their jampots!

Sports Talk

My best wishes go out to Tiger Woods and I hope he has a successful operation and a speedy recovery. We need all the heroes we can get..even if they are filthy rich!

I couldn't help notice how some of the highly rated stars of football have flopped, or at best not produced their best, at the Euro2008 finals. The list is quite long and includes some really big names! I wonder what is going on?
I wa pleased to see the results last night when Russia beat Sweden, no reason really. But there is a problem!! How can we worship at the feet of a new STAR called Jerk-Off/ Think what will happen to teenage boys around the world as they suffer RSI in their right hands!!

Did anyone else think that Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Sweden, beleive it or don't) looks a lot like Ian Thorpe (Australian swimming sensation).

Words for today: codger; obloquy; tubular.
Try to use these words in your everyday conversations!

By the way did Big Brown win the Triple Crown accross the Pond?

A Midweek Sense of Ennui

Sports Talk

Yes! Henrythenavigator won at Royal Ascot yesterday, but he was odds on. I would rather have picked the second last and last winners at, respectivley, 20-1 and 100-1. But there you go!

Well at least Italy got through at the expense of the French...well done. Was it only me, but did Thierry Henry turn up last night. I seem to recall he did the same thing in a recent game somewhere...he does not seem interested anymore: maybe too jmuch money. He reminded me of Ronaldo and Brasil in the last world cup! Mind you what happened to Luca Toni for Italy...how come he cannot seem to get the ball in the net....does he need vision correction?

Strange how potent cheap music is!

I was riding the bus and a group of youths got on all loaded down with their music Ipods, all leaking out loud but indecipherable music notes (?). It just sounds like a rabble; but why do they have to play it so loud.

It is not only youths with pods you have to worry about. It's also all those people who drive cars with very efficient and effective sound systems. The whole car acts as a sound box as they park outside my window in the mornings and evenings and then sit for minutes (seems like hours) listening to the last item of news/piece of music before they exit the car.

I sound like Victor Meldrew! But there are few who can grow old with grace.

Fish. Yes! Fish

Who is eating all our fish from the North Sea. I have discovered a piece of battered cod now costs over £5.00. I cannot afford this as I am still suffering from Unemployment, and the symptoms seem to worsen each day. There is evidence of overfishing in our coastal waters, but how do you alleviate this problem. Do nothing and hope for the best! Remember, nothing, like something, happens anywhere.

Words for today: cathead; recondite; macrocosm

I suggest you try to add these words to your everyday vocabulary!

A Day in the Life of a Mature Student

Dear Reader: Tomorrow is another day!

Tuesday dawned as usual... so nothing new there. However it is summer and that means that all the plants and flowers will be blooming...and of course the pollen count will rise accordingly.

Floreat Flora

As I walk around I cannot help but notice the beautiful displays in all the gardens and parks. The birds seem to love this season as well as the buggers wake up at 3.30 am and start screaming either for food or a mate. I sometimes think I'd like to machine gun the lot of them. But of course that would not be right, right!

I don't know much about flowers and plants but I do know people who do. If you want to contact them them email to wheelersofturnhamgreen@hotmail.co.uk.
For queries about flowers ask for Spencer, for bouquets, weddings and funeral ask for Michele and for plants and shrubs and garden design ask for Jason. I think you will be pleased with their professionalism and friendliness.
As I always say: You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think!

Sport Talk

Well Done, Tiger! I had moments when I thought you would fail, but obviously you did not. You have won $100 million in prize money and probably earned more than that in sponsorship deals......did I tell you I'm suffering from unemployment?

Well done to Germany last night...they finally got through to play Portugal in the next round. I love it when Germany's Polish players score goals, OK! I know Ballach is German, and also when Switzerland's Turkish player scores their goals! This is real European football except for the Brazilian players who have crept in to a few of the other teams.

The next big decision is whether you want les Bleuse or the Azzurri to win, and if you prefer les Marsellaises or il Canta degli Italiano!

Can anyone give me a tip for Royal Ascot.....and don't give me Henry the Navigator as I already have picked him!

Words for today: portentous, groyne, semiotics.

Illegitimis non Carborandum

Weekend Warrior

Well another new week creeps onto the scope and I wonder where it will end.But either way, I will attempt to keep up the good fight.

Altogether I did not have a bad weekend. I even went for a walk down to the river and spent some time in the sun...although as I think I have mentioned I am not a summer person....give me winter anytime. I think of the snow as a white silence falling down to embrace all the trees, houses and the ground.

There were a lot of people on and around the river. They all seemed happy and busy but I do not think anyone noticed me which is usual because I think I do not cast a shadow these days. I used to, but it has been fading away for a while.
It's like the song has ended but the melody lingers on.There seems to be a stream running through my life that I can hear but cannot see.....and I don't mean the Thames. By the way the water in the river looked exceptionally clear.

TV highlights

On the sports side I nearly wept with laughter last night when Turkey beat the Czechs in Euro 2008 and God bless 'em even Switzerland won a game beating Portugal's third reserve side. Now all we need is Austria to dump the germs out of the competition and all will be sweet in the Kingdom of Egos and Loads of Money.

Just what can you say about Rafael Nadal! Wimbledon will be oh so good! this year. But who do I want to win....decisions! decisions!

Food tips for the Hungry and Needy

I must mention a really nice restaurant that I think is worth your while. It's in West Ealing past the Fire Station and is called Food Factory...it serves Persian cuisine and is reasonably priced and very edible. Eat and enjoy!

Words for today: ferruginous; muskeg; taurine

Saturday Musings for the Lost and Lonely

Some unrelated thoughts taht seem to crowd in on my conscience as i rose once again unsatiated from my virgin couch.

Football

Germany losing, Poland drawing, France losing (hurrah), Italy drawing....what is going on in Switzerland and Austria (do not think of dungeons...there lie dragons and more sleepless nights)?
Is the focus of football heading east following the lead of Eurovision....shades of Dana International in the showers with the entire Russian squad!

Politics

Does anyone think that the panjandrums in Brussells will pay any heed to the expression of democracy by the Irish in voting down the United States of Europe, or will the steam ahead into the iceberg of their own hubris!

Injuries

Why are so many sports people always being injured...surely the are mollycoddled to the nth dgree by their extensive staffs. Her's a short list that srings to mind
Tiger Woods, Andy Murray, Vierra, Toytown (surely she has more than one horse... this is the second games in a row it's been injured. How old is it? Can it still jump?) Probably any other British athlete picked for Beijing will be injured just before the games but will carry on in that ever so plucky British spirit and limp in last but at least we woz there!

World Forum

So many disasters concatenating into my grey matter I think I'm suffering meltdown as well as unemployment.
Burma cyclone probably millions starving under repressive regime
Chine earthquake with subsidiary effects, who knows but at least the government here seems to be willing to help the people
Name any country in Africa...Zimbabwe, Sudan Ethiopia, Somalia, Kenya......turmoil caused by political corruption and unrest with starvation and brutilisation of people everywhere
Wayne Rooney's wedding

Word for today - gobsmacked

Zumzwang

Well here I am again to update you on all the exciting happenings in my dull an dreary life.

I couldn't sleep last night, which is usual as I am a very light sleeper, easily disturbed by any unusual or loud noise. But the worst thing was the dreams that ran through my sleep. I was going to relate them to you but unfortunately, I could not remember them when I eventually dragged myself from my virgin couch.

I feel blocked somehow and so I am going to sidestep a little.

Anyway the thing is that I feel that I opened myself up too much yesterday and revealed my inner self to all and sundry. I feel peeled. A friend of mine says that on;y women bleed but that men are moody bastards at the best of times, and she should know. However I do feel bloody, but what can you do?

At the moment I am suffering from unemployment, and boy how you do suffer! But in actual fact, due to sleight of hand from GB (Scottish Division) PM of the UK's DWP I am no longer counted as unemployed i.e. I am not unemployed, although I still receive benefits as I am now on a New Deal Training course. When he stands up and says the Unemployment figures are such and such remember to add one for me, and also to deduct one from his marvellous New Deal figures....it is all lies, damned lies and statistics.

I was going to mention civil rights but I'll let that simmer for a while, at least until this bye-election. I wonder if Davies has ever heard about a tent and pissing in or out?

Hello to those not dead and alive!

My Name

My name is Lawrence De Leacy and I was born on a dark and dreary night in 1949 in a barn in the outback of Australia to be close to my mother.
My e-mail address

I am alive and well and living in London! But only just!

My Hometown

I was born in Herberton in Northern Queensland on the Atherton Tablelands but grew up in Cairns, on the tropical north coast of Queensland. The Great Barrier Reef lies just 15 miles off the coast and the popular spot to visit was Green Island, which is actually a coral atoll.

My Present Domicile

At present I live in Chiswick in West London, which was originally designed as a garden suburb in the 19th century. It has changed over time to become a thriving cosmopolitan village in London with very good access to transport and shopping and a wide variety of restaurants, cafes , pubs and wine-bars and lots of trees in the streets.

My Family

Very little is known except that I have four sisters living in Australia with a multitude of nieces and nephews. They are probably all rich and healthy as Australians do seem to be superstars.

My World

Very boring. I am a quiet ,tasteful(?) sort of person who likes a drink, smokes too much and reads a lot . I follow the mighty Ipswich Town Football Club in the Premiership in England and usually support Australia at international sports events. Of course, I think that David Beckham is a sporting superstar! My football consultant is Rubino from Buenos Aires, who supports San Lorenzo, a team no-one has ever heard of! Max is my hair stylist....no really, don't laugh; and he supports Boca Juniors!

My local pharmacist is Ashwin, who is extremely helpful and my doctor is Vikram, who cannot play cricket but thinks he can.. .he talks well about it. He has been practising now for 25 years and soon, I hope, he will qualify.
I work as an accountant, with wide experience in all aspects of financial accounting and office administration. If you would like a copy of my c.v. please e-mail me and I will forward a copy to you.

When it comes to music I like the Dixie Chicks, Nanci Griffith, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Catatonia, Manic Street Preachers, Bon Jovi, Guns'n'Roses. There are others but I can't mention them all here, including Sinatra and Elvis.
My favorite museums in the world are the Guggenheims in Bilbao and New York for the sheer beauty of the architecture; the Capitoline in Rome and the Jeu du Pomme in Paris for the contents. The Egyptian Room at the British Museum has to be seen to be believed. The Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam is brilliant, as is the Heineken Brewery. I would love to see the Russian museums sometime before they sell off all their treasures!

Thank you for reading this! You have made my day! If it was boring, imagine what I felt living it!